a mouthful of interludes
by but seriously
Summary: Maybe she wanted to see the sun set one last time. Maybe she wanted to see one last sunrise. / or, Caroline leaves town.


**a/n:** prompted by anonymous on tumblr: Caroline - leaving town

also, why is ffnet so annoying with its line breaks?

* * *

It's not called giving up, it's not called giving in, it's not called running away.

It's called packing up her bags in the middle of the night, lifting her heels as she slips soundlessly into her mother's room, watching the way her chest rises and falls as she dreams bright oranges and blues, pinks and golds, the days and nights stretching out into one endless song.

It's called looking up at the house she's lived in her whole life, curling her hair up into a bun at the nape of her neck, and turning the keys in the ignition of the car she'd gotten for her 16th birthday and hoping that nobody is pushing aside their curtains and looking at her. Not sleeping the way she isn't able to sleep, watching her put shaking hands on the steering wheel, wondering if she'll put her foot down and go.

Daring her.

Praying, almost.

.

.

She counts lamp posts as she goes.

One, two, three, five, nine, fifteen, and whoops look at that, she's right under the signboard that tells her she is now leaving Mystic Falls, we hope you've enjoyed your stay.

Not particularly.

.

.

She's still parked there when the sun comes up, hands on the steering wheel, toes just hovering over the gas pedal.

Maybe she wanted to see the sun set one last time.

Maybe she wanted to see one last sunrise.

Her skin is painted a magnificent pink. She wriggles her fingers, basking in it.

It's admittedly beautiful.

.

.

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

Caroline, where are you? Are you already at school? I woke up and your bed was already made, so that's a first. I'll see you at home tonight – _yes_, I'll be there. Already putting together the ingredients of those garlic noodles you love so much. Love you.

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

Blondie. Elena wants to know why you're so mysteriously MIA. And she also wants to know if her pompoms are with you.

.

.

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

O Great Vampire Sponsor Caroline, I'm outside your house. We were supposed yesterday, and today too, remember? Talk about my feelings? Not that I want to, but you're not one to just not show up. If this is you trying to prove a point, then yeah, point taken. I'll start opening up more. Call me back.

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

Caroline Forbes, where the hell are you? Your mom came over today to ask about you. Elena and I are worried to death. Pick up the phone!

.

.

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

I'm not calling you a liar, Care, but you're not going to call any of us back, are you? Don't leave. Vicky, Aunt Jenna… Enough people have left. Don't leave, please…

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

Caroline. Matt here. I, uh… People are wondering, Care. So am I. Can you stop this… whatever you've got going on and come home?

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

Honey, where are you? I know I've left a lot of… harsh messages. I'm just—_hic_—worried. It's been a week, sweetie. I'll be home more, if that's what you want. I—sorry, I had to blow my nose. Just come home, Carebear. I love you.

.

.

It's not called leaving.

It's not, it's really not.

It's called throwing her phone into the ocean and crying until her tears sweep into the sleeves of her sweater.

It's called having to pull over another ten miles down the road so she can throw up.

It's called wiping her mouth and pulling on her shades. It's called hitting the gas as fast as she can go.

It's called being a selfish bitch. It's called letting go.

.

.

_Hey, you've reached Caroline! As you can see… or hear. Or – you know what, whatever. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back!_

Stefan was desperate enough to call and tell me about this little… situation. It seems you've upped and gone. I must say I'm amazed, love. Does this mean you've considered my offer?

.

.

It's called _I'm sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again._

.

.

She waits tables for gas money.

In one diner the patrons know her by Bonnie, in another her nametag says Hi, I'm Elena. Sometimes, she uses Jenna's name. Rarely, it's Vicky.

The movies never taught her how to scrape grease from under her fingernails and to be careful of asbestos in the ugly carpeting of the motels she stays in.

.

.

It's not called letting go when she keeps holding on to the little bits and pieces, to the lip gloss Elena accidentally left in her purse once, to the copy of _Ramona, Age 8_ that she reads while waiting for her car to be washed that has the words This is BONNIE'S Do not STEAL! scrawled in the jacket cover.

_Caroline, where are you going?_ She writes underneath.

She watches a movie at the discount theater, a rare treat. It's not that she wants to live uncomfortably, but leaving her entire life behind shouldn't feel easy, it shouldn't feel good.

Rose wants to go to the stars, and Jack takes her.

It's not such a bad place to go, all things considering.


End file.
